Today , CeBIT 2007 closes its doors for another twelvemonth . And so , as the exhibitors compact up their galvanising lederhosen , telepathic computers , and Wi - Fi trouser presses and wrap onto the next patronage fair , we salute the unexpressed heroine of the week - long gadgetstravaganza . Yes , the stall laydeez .
Normally Giz ’s nonmigratory laydeeologists , erudite , intellectual type such as Charlie , Jason , or Louis , give their sentiment on these hostesses with the mostess , but they do n’t seem to be around ( I did shout “ Wakey Wakey , Hands Off Snakey ” into the Gizmodo den but my words echoed spookily around the office ) . So this clip your laydee commentary is going to be done by someone who have intercourse about them better than anyone else on the squad — Ad — and that ’s because I am one .
We ’ve done the Good ( four of them , in reality ) , so let ’s undertake the Bad . Now then , lady friend on the leftfield , you are Not speculative . Do n’t get me faulty , you are Good . I wish the way you mix business with joy . The top - half jazz group of orange neckerchief and round - make out jersey says , “ I am businesslike , I have been amply briefed on the mathematical product that I am selling , although in person I prefer Sony Ericsson , I am an IT student at Leipzig University , I am just doing this to pay the bills and no , you ca n’t have my telephony number ” — while the bottom half shrieks ( in a self-respecting , New Germany kind of manner , you understand ) a entirely different message .
Shall I transform it for you ? “ Hello , techie diarist , ” it is saying . “ Yes , you may do and pretend to talk to me about Nokia whilst admiring the eternal flight of my slightly - tanned - but - not - too - much - as - I - don’t - deficiency - them - to - pit - my - skirt legs . But that , sir is totally out of the question . ” She ’s a good booth babe , despite the fact that her expression is less ejaculate - hither but more go - nooky - yourself . Well , after six days of techie journalists , would n’t you ?
I wish her , it ’s her two Quaker I ’m not so trusted about . Yep , the two dressed up as nylon policemen , who front like they have been out on the whiplash all Nox , the last two girls from the bachelorette company who got mislay on their direction to the airport and have been trawling around Hanover for the preceding three weeks trying to raise enough money to get another flight home and are really urinate because they miss leaping break and German hombre are no merriment at all and , Candice , you ’re not listen to me , just stop stare at the diary keeper , you ca n’t consider he ’s hot , oh , you think he can assist us get back to Cincinnati before my momma find out out that I stole her nylon jump suit with the open genitals that she wears whenever she catch to the second date ?
I know that there is something about chicks in uniform that guys comprehend . I take on that ( I must take on , I get fond and nostalgic just thinking about Rosa Klebb and her spiked shoes in From Russia With Love ) , but there are way of doing it . Just see the art gallery — bare tummy and expressions that squall , “ Ooh , you have been a naughty male child and I am going to have to apprehend you and take down your particulars . ” But a smelly all - in - one boilersuit is just faulty .
And finally , to the Ugly . Oh Memory Corp , what were you thinking ? That a potpourri of nipples , leg warmers , heinous stitching box - cum - bag , full - body Hammer House Of Horror makeup , pastel pink aerobics trainer , Louis XV wig and motorbike parked in the background signal will work people running to your stand ? I suppose it depends where the pedestal is . I imply , if you were exhibiting in a eminent - security looney bin then yes , you would have a stampede .
And another thing . With a creature like that breast your product , you ’d intimately be sell something that wipe remembering . entirely , or the CeBit hack will be complaining of recurring nighmares in which a Gallic Fop made from Cotton Candy tries to course them down on his motorbike to the sounds of Olivia Newton John ’s ( rent ’s Get ) Physical . And you do not , my protagonist , desire your product associated with that .
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